Recently heard this song of Fergie's :"big girls dont cry"...
Cant agree more with it...even I dont cry...cant cry rather...dont even remember the last time,I shed a tear...
Why does this happen???Is it a part of growing up???
But as we grow up, arent we supposed to become more balanced emotionally??...more in control of ourselves,understand ourselves better???Then why do we lose this ability to cry,why do we slowly start becoming ashamed of exposing our vulnerable selves to the world when it is but such a natural thing???Why cant we just go and tell the person who has hurt us so badly that hey!!am hurt!!and I dont like it!!!
why do we smile and say..."Its okkkk....no big deal..." when in reality, we want to scream at the top of our lungs and hold on to that person...and say "Damn!!cant you see,u are important to me,u have the ability to hurt me,break me so badly...I depend on u now" ...But no,we,the biggest hypocrites breathing on this planet,would rather say...."well...its not the end of the world!!!" Reality check: "Its not the end of the world,but it is definitely the end of something that meant the world to you!!"
Then why are we so scared to accept it???why are we so scared of getting hurt???Of hurting the other person??Doesn't the fact that we are capable of hurting or getting hurt by a certain person reflect the plain truth that there's some intimacy between the two of us???And that's supposed to be a good thing, right??? Then why cant we simply get hurt,cry our heart out,let that heaviness off our chests,tell that person,''you have hurt me real bad, made my eyeballs swell out of their sockets with all that crying" and then give ourselves a second chance....why instead,are we prepared to live in that same grief every single day of our life,get up in the morning with that same realization,and go to sleep every night with that same mad hope???Why are we so complicated!!!???Why cant we simply be honest!!!We are even dishonest to our own selves,we keep on lying to ourselves..."its all right,life goes on..." Please!! it doesnt...life stands stagnant rigt there...nd the truth is ,we dont even want it to move forward...we would rather live in that moment when we had it for the last time,when it was in our possession!! But we would still tell ourselves, "relax,something else would come up"....,do we actually even want anything ''else''???... We make ourselves live in a world of lies and illusions, murdering our happiness,every single moment...And then we are shameless enough to blame it on the world: ''Its a cruel world out there!!!'' NO!! thats not true!!! the world's not cruel,its only us, we,ourselves make us suffer so badly!!And we become so addicted to our suffering, our pain,that we slowly start enjoying it!!!We are the ones who make ourselves so weak....we are our own slow poisons!!And doesn't sufering every moment because of that certain someone,who defined the word "happiness" for you at a certain time of your life,the worst way you can curse that person!!How could we be so selfish!!!
Hell!!! I hate being human...it gets so inhuman at times!!